Me, You and It

Similarities and Differences

2006-06-14T20:51:00.000+10:00

Similarities
- You make my life a living hell as much as I make yours
- You hate me as much as I hate you
- We're smart
3 things that will never change

Differences
- I care
- I show it
- I'm honest and proud of it
3 things you will never be

Wait, soon I'll crack
You're feeling it too
but I show it
I'm not ashamed.

Dedication for you.

2006-01-22T19:12:00.000+11:00

Happy turns into sad.
Smiles turn into frowns.

Love turns into hate.

Hearts turn into knifes.

Free turns into captured.
Safe turns into lost.

Next turns into last.
Hello's turn into good byes.

Gone turns into forgotten.

Suck it up and Shut up.
Life wouldn't be any fun if things didn't change.
There not always bad.

I should have said this months ago.

2005-12-25T18:25:00.000+11:00

There was so much anger,
So much despair,
So much emotion.
You made me,
Mad,
Love,
Crazy,
Envy,
Feel.

You’re the person I understand the most,
Yet when I'm around you,
I understand myself the least.
I had to do something,
Every minute I felt differently.
I was so lost.
So I did nothing.
I was content with that.

Day by day,
I'd never do anything big,
I'd brush off so much I knew I shouldn't.
Good and Bad.
Hold on to so many irrelevant times.
Good and Bad.
There was so much there,
You were changing,
It was only building up.

I'd go blank,
It was easier to ignore,
or simply forgive and forget.
Some call it a gift,
Others call it hell.
That's what I do with everything.
It always works.
It always goes away,
I'm glad you didn't go too.
I don't and didn't want that.

You don't understand all of me,
Most things you thourght were wrong.
It's not a bad thing,
I wouldn't have a clue either.
Please don't assume,
I understand why you did.
I don't hide things,
I hint.
I don't hold grudges,
I let go.
It's already gone.

I’m sorry,
I really am,
I didn’t give you many answers.
You make me fly,
It feels great.
What goes up must come down.
Maybe that’s the answer.

There's a stage where things can't go any lower,
It's called rock bottom.
We were almost there.
I still had hope.
For things to get worse,
You have to have something to lose.
I did, I had your Friendship.
I like you,
I think things are better,
I hope it stays like this.

This isn't me

2005-12-04T17:26:00.000+11:00

It's exciting,
It's new,
If it was so great why didn't I think of it before?
I did,
What worries me is why I didn't act.
Maybe I don't want this.

I keep telling my self to give it a go,
Take every chance life gives you,
I'll never get everywhere other wise.
I'm not sure I want this,
I don't no,
That's why I care.

I'm a wuss,
I'm pathetic,
I need to push myself,
But I'm so scared,
Scared of the unknown.

This isn't me,
I don't feel this way,
I don't deal with this,
I don't want to deal with it.
I don't want it to go either.

I hate the confusion.
I hate not knowing.
I hate being scared.
I hate the fact I don't know where I'm going,
Or what I'm doing.

Tell me what to do
Please.

Think about it

2005-11-17T10:53:00.000+11:00

You are starting to be everything you hate,
You are starting to be everything I hate,
Does this mean I should hate you?
I'm starting to.

Motivation

2005-11-11T20:30:00.000+11:00

Am I dead?
Am I meant to feel?
I don’t.
Should I feel bad?
Should I worry?
I don’t.

Everything I used to care about,
doesn't seem to matter.
I don’t care about anything anymore,
except how I am going to get though the day.
I keep holding on to unrealistic ideas,
They'll move me.
They don't.

I make a small change for the better,
It turns big, bad, out of control.
I have no passion,
No motivation.
How am I meant to do anything with out motivation?
I don't.

It has no point,
I don't care,
I'm tried, bored.
I don't have time for this.
My life shouldn't be spent like this.

There is,
No conclusion,
No ending,
No resolution,
I can't fix how I feel,
Even if I hate it.
So I don't.

What I think of you.

2005-08-31T16:35:00.000+10:00

What do I think of you?
You ask but do you want to know the answers?
Can you handle the answers?
I don't think you can.

You think your special,
You are,
What you don't understand is that others are also.
You think you have problems,
You do,
So do others.

How do I get you to understand?
How do I get you to see?
You are a good person,
So are others.
You and them are not so different.

Where i'm at now

2005-08-03T19:06:00.000+10:00

It makes me sick,
It Disgusts me.
I try so hard,
Others try harder.
Some do nothing.

Does it even out?
Does anything even out?
There is no correct answer,
Its how you approach things,
How you look at life.

You can't control what comes at you,
You can control your actions,
Your responses.
Make them count,
Make life count.

People who don't like change,
like life.
They are happy with their life,
and wouldn't change a thing.
Good or bad change?

Searching for more,
Everyone does it at one stage or another.
You have more power than you think,
When your looking,
Look in the right places.
Don't struggle.

To be different,
To stand out.
So many people want this,
I want this.
But how?

Positively.

My Sister

2005-06-21T13:02:00.001+10:00

For one section I chose to interview my sister who is now in year 5, and talk about her being profoundly deaf.

My first years in Kindergarten were difficult because I am profoundly deaf. This means when I don't have my hearing aid or Cochlear implant turned on, I can't hear anything. It was hard for me because people at that age didn't understand about my deafness, and didn't take any notice of me until I made myself heard. I did this by always trying to talk to other people and stood up for myself if I was ever picked on.
Being deaf itself never bothered me, it was how other people reacted around me that mattered. It was hard because there were only three other deaf girls in my grade, which at most schools is a lot but when you are one of those girls, it doesn't seem many at all. I became really good friends with all the deaf girls, it was easy to get along with them because they were feeling the same way I was.
I am now in year five, and I am still friendly with those girls, and they are a big part of my life. I have made other friends who I am closer to, being deaf no longer bothers me. I am now doing ballet, jazz and playing the Piano, which you need to be able to hear the music and pick up the rhythm for. Being deaf is a part of my life and who I am, and I’m happy with it.

What do I feel strongly about?

2005-06-20T19:12:00.000+10:00

I feel strongly about respect.
I don't think everyone deserves it. Sometimes you have to give it to teachers or people who are older than you, because you are expected to, the thing is we mostly hear about expectations from those people. They tell you about how hard it is being a young teenage girl and all the bad things out in the world, what they don't understand is they have expectations of you also.
Don't get me wrong expectations keep this world going, it gives people perseverance, a reason to keep going and achieve higher goals.
It is so hypocritical that they tell you about expectations and how you don’t have to meet them, but if you told them that they were idiots and you didn't believe a word they were saying, you would be considered rude, because you didn’t respect their views.
Expectations will always be there, accept it and move on, don't try and change it. If you don't want to meet your expectations, don’t. But don't try and make expectations out as bad horrible things. People need them.

Six Sences

2005-06-17T19:40:00.000+10:00

When your eyes blur, you are watching but can't really see. ATTENTION
When you tune out, all you can hear are your own thoughts. FEELINGS
When you float in the pool, can't feel any part of your body. RELAXATION
When you smell the same smell for so long, it's no longer there. ADJUSTING
When your mouth explodes with taste, so everything else you experience seems like nothing. EXPETATIONS
Sight, Hearing, Touch, Smell, Taste
These are all parts of life just like, attention, feelings, relaxation, adjusting and expectations.
Appreciate them.

Ignorance

2005-06-16T20:01:00.000+10:00

She doesn't like to show herself as content,
even when she is having fun.
She acts miserable,
even when is happy.
She can't love herself,
she doesn't know how.
She doesn't love others,
and believes they don’t love her back.
Slowly,
She stops talking,
She loses radiance,
She loses her self,
Not only does she die,
so do others around her.
Attention.
She wants it,
She doesn't know what to do with it,
She's worried,
so are we all.
Ignorance.
She has it.
She doesn’t deserve us,
she doesn’t have us.

Dedicated to an old friend